Worst Christian Book Covers of 2013!

November 27, 2013 — 40 Comments

 

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#8 – Murder Intelligently Designed

Amazon Image

 
And in the category of Irony, the winner is…
Well, let’s hope the murder is more intelligently designed that the cover.
Why is a cartoon of Friedrich Nietzsche’s severed head resting on a pixelated mess floating in space?
(Submitted by “Larry” )

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  • Robby Prenkert

    Is that a bra on her head?

  • Andrea Graham

    Actually, Kerry Nietz is a science fiction author and the book is a serious treatment of its topic, even if the title is an inside joke amongst science fiction people, and the terrific cover is perfectly suited to appeal to the book’s intended audience.

  • Andrea Graham

    No. It’s an Amish hat.

  • guest

    Uhh…Please tell me that you understood Robby’s comment to be a joke. Please tell me you weren’t seriously answering that question. Please oh please ooh please.

  • Randy Streu

    The addition of Nietz’s book is just silly. You may not like the subject matter; you may even think the title is campy… but the art and design are spot on. It doesn’t belong anywhere near this list.

  • Kristen Stieffel

    I gotta agree with Randy and Andrea on this one. The **design** of this cover is excellent.

  • Big Al

    Hopefully Englewood Review of Books knows more about reviewing book content than cover design. The Amish Vampires cover is actually superbly done and to include this on a list of worst book covers is absolute buffoonery!

  • uncle goo

    If this were a list of the worst books published this year then I could understand the #1 choice, however, since this list was just about the cover then I call foul. You may not like dark covers, the Amish, or even women but even then it’s still a good cover.

  • Guest

    “The sarcasm is wasted when I have to explain it in crayon.”

  • turdmaster

    There is a distinct Amish fetish theme in these covers…. #8 looks awesome.

  • E. Stephen Burnett

    Annnd this would be a mismatch. If the cover is designed to do exactly what it does, and what it does is intentionally corny, or even (if readers will excuse the term) bad—, then it doesn’t belong on any “worst cover” lists. :-P

  • Kevin B Parsons

    I am inspired. ‘Amish Vampires in Space Play the Hunger Games.’ Time to get writing.

  • David

    Re: #15. I know, how dare they suggest that anyone who’s not a cute young thing be entitled to romance.

  • Cecilia Marie Pulliam

    This is the most un-Christian thing I’v seen in a long time. Then, I guess this isn’t a Christian site, is it? This isn’t even civil. I will not participate in tearing someone apart just for the humor and I’m saddened that I followed a posted link and added my page load to this site. Unbelievably crash and cruel. I will not be back – ever or read any post by this site again.

  • Cecilia Marie Pulliam

    Yes, I agree. You must be the perfect specimen of humanity and commercially perfect, or you just aren’t good enough. This makes me sick. I need go do some serious praying on how to forgive my enemies.

  • erbks

    Ummm… The remarks on this one were SARCASM, calling into question the prevailing ideal of Amish romances (and pretty much all romance novels) that the people depicted on the covers must be young, good looking, etc.

  • E. Stephen Burnett

    Alas, one of the reasons Christian art suffers is that many Christians actually believe it un-Christian to say, “This was not done well or with excellence, and therefore does not glorify God as much as it could have if it were improved.”

  • Bethany Jean

    There’s a difference between telling the creator that “it was not done well or with excellence”, and poking fun at them for all the world to see. It’s not showing a Christian way of thinking or acting, or showing a united front as we should. This whole post is a jab at Christians, by Christians. By all means give some constructive criticism, but don’t tear down your fellow believers like this. It’s just wrong.

  • GinaRD

    I understand your point, but on that one, I don’t the satire quite worked the way it was meant to. I thought it really did sound like the woman’s age was being mocked and the “cute young thing” model endorsed. Maybe there were just so many layers to the satire that I got lost. :-)

    A lot of the others were hilarious, though!

  • jfrommel

    The Christianity Lite cover was actually quite good!

  • Lazlo13

    so?

  • Bob Lacki

    I agree, Christianity Lite and Amish Vampires are actually very well designed. Whoever put this list together doesn’t understand the difference between a book’s subject and its design. I find it ironic, considering this site’s logo and general layout, that they would be doing any sort of aesthetic judging. People in glass houses…

  • Nick Peters

    Lord, I thank you that I am not like this tax collector. I do not make public messages designed to shame Christians for making embarrassments to the gospel. Instead, I just go to public forums and announce my condemnation of all of them and then announce how I am to pray to learn to be more righteous. Thank you that I am not like this tax collector.

  • Chas

    Its funny that you slam all the Amish covers and then you place the best designed cover from the whole list at number 1 when it is mocking the world of Amish fiction.

  • Nunofya Damnbiznus

    Shes a local author….and not a very bright one…i live in amish country.

  • susaneisaacs

    Most of these were hilarious. The Oregon Trail cover and description had me laughing out loud. However, #9 felt mean. That’s the author on the book cover, so it feels like you’re making fun of her. I’m all for calling out bad work, jokes and all – if an author puts his/her work out for public view and purchase, he/she’s gotta accept criticism. But it’s one thing to laugh about bad clip art or a human face in clip art. But poking fun of a person and her story, that felt a bit much. PS I’m still laughing at “If the Conestoga’s rockin’ “

  • erbks

    Susan, In retrospect, I think you are probably right about #9. If we do future lists of this sort, will definitely be more careful in cases like this where the line between the person and the product gets really fuzzy.
    Sincerely appreciate the feedback!
    Chris Smith

  • http://www.ipandora.net/ music2myear

    I thought #10 (Christianity-lite) was actually a pretty good cover. Sure the photoshopped label wasn’t curved or textured quite right, and the “embossed” cross was completely flat, but the social and cultural rejection of beer seems to me to be diminishing and for a growing number of Christians that title and image contains several layers of meaning, all of which are appropriate to the apparent message of the book.

  • Frank O Pionion

    My impression, is that your brand of criticisms are just mean rather than constructive. And belong on a middle school play ground. Also you should try to improve things by starting with your own site, which has so many adds and elements just thrown onto a plan background. The most artistic things are the covers that you are bullying. It leaves the impression that you just wish to be paid for being mean.

  • erbks

    I have offered an explanation of why we do this list, and responded to some of the criticisms here:
    http://www.patheos.com/blogs/slowchurch/2013/12/03/the-worst-christian-book-covers-of-2013/

  • Kathleen L. Maher

    agreed. I think this was a pretty good cover, and a great concept. I might just read this book now.

  • Guest

    Read it. Now I think you’re a bad critic AND have no design taste.

  • simchafisher

    Oh man, I couldn’t be more delighted to be a part of this list. See my blog for the cover I decided NOT to use: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/simchafisher/2013/11/29/i-knew-i-should-have-gone-with-the-sinners-guide-to-amish-vampires-in-space/

  • http://philcooke.com Phil Cooke

    I’d love to see the list if I didn’t have to see a pop-up ad between each one. Talk about terrible web marketing…

  • erbks

    Weird… that shouldn’t be happening! There is a popup box that appears the very first time a user visits our site, but there definitely should not be popups between pages. Looking into this… What browser/device are you using?

  • http://philcooke.com Phil Cooke

    Safari on a Mac….

  • tcinpdx

    I liked the whole list – gave me a much needed laugh today. Please keep doing the list. Wish I hadn’t read the other comments here. Can we just file them under, “Curmudgeon?”
    Sheesh.
    Someday, when I get published, may I be so fortunate as to get free publicity by having a hideous cover on your list.

  • susaneisaacs

    I know, I’m a professional comedienne and I cross this line. It’s one of those things you really only know after you do it. Keep these coming. They’re hilarious. I can’t believe that someone actually wrote AMISH VAMPIRES IN SPACE!

  • Anne

    Ditto, and I’m on a PC with Firefox. I’ve been “forwarding” for over ten minutes and only got to #6. Why weren’t these all just placed in a single post so we could scroll down? Oh, yeah….revenue.

  • ChibiViolet

    Ah, the beauty of wabi-sabi! (I thought some of them looked decently professional, though–way beyond the reach of my own self-publishing budget. *envy*)

    On an unrelated note, I actually want to read about Amish vampires in space now.